Do I make sense?

At Passion 2011 Ft. Worth,

Francis Chan left me asking myself, “Why do I care about anything else [other than God]?”. He challenged us to not love the idea that there’s a God, just go ahead and love God! 

In the same way that I want to love God and not merely the idea of a God, I want to be changed, not just show a change.

getting real here: to a lot of people, I look pretty good, really good even. I’m a good person, and there’s no mistaking it. But in some aspects of my life, I find it hard to keep up that image of a good person. I know all the right things, and pull them out at the right times, but my heart isn’t in it. I’m showing a change that isn’t real inside. It’s not a true portrayal of Christ in me, it’s just a facade. And I don’t like that. Actually, I HATE that. And I've tried to change, but sometimes I just can’t figure out how.


I figured it out when...
Francis asked, “does your life as a Christian make sense?”

Philippians 1:27 tells us to let the way we live our lives worthy of the gospel of Christ.

He pointed out that lots of us have an “If I were God” opinion... like, “If I were God, I wouldn’t make people like her. I’d put myself in charge of this situation if I were God. If I were God, I’d (insert your personal wish here)”. 

My mind says: what we’re saying when we do that is, “If God were smart like me...” =O

oh my. I don’t think that’s what I'm wanting to say. because after all, he does hold my very next breath in his power.

And even if we’re okay with having the gross misconception that we’re smarter than God, it doesn’t change the fact that the only opinion that matters is still God’s. The opinion found in His Gospel. We should be living in a way that honors what His Word says.

God loves me SO much, that He watched His sinless Son, beaten and cursed, forced toward the cross, to take the payment for my sin.

That is IN CRED IBLE. My life should be different than your average “smarter than God”  believing human being who puts up a facade to appear good.. because I believe that.

I certainly wouldn’t have been smart enough to save the whole world, if I had the chance. I’d just be looking out for number one. me, myself and I. Or me and my closest friends. Or all the good people. But certainly not the people who've hurt me. or the prostitutes. or the thieves. or the murderers. or those people who hadn’t done anything socially unacceptable, but I just didn’t like them anyway. 
And if you had the chance, I’m not gonna assume that you’d save me. We’re just selfish like that.

Realizing all this, what else can i do besides actively pursuing change in my life to make me suitable to the gospel of the One who paid my eternal debt?

When people see my actions, hear me speak, or *glug* watch the hidden cameras into my private family life, they should be saying, “She’s a believer of the gospel of Christ? I can totally see it. That makes sense!”

So I’ve been asking myself since Saturday, “Is my life about the Bible?” Where does my choice of lifestyle come from? Where do I get my sense of justice and injustice? My idea of friendship? My sense of “my rights”? My sense of humility, kindness? Amidst the temptations and pleasures of this world, am I radically different? 

Does my life match up with the Scriptures?

Do I make sense, in light of the Gospel of Christ?

I've got to know the Word, and I've got to CHANGE to match the Word, if I'm going to live a life that truly makes sense.

Praying that every day, I make more and more sense,

Betkany

To live is Christ

During the welcome session at Passion 2011 Ft. Worth, Louie Giglio said what we already knew, but he said it so well, i felt like it was the first time that I heard it!

First thing that I have in my notes:

“There’s nothing that can stop God from using me. He used Saul. He used Saul.” no, that wasn’t a typo: He used Saul. He used SAUL! let’s face it. it’s amazing. Saul was a murderer of the people of the Way... God’s Way. He was out to get Jesus. But God took hold of him and shook him up, and used him in UN.BE.LEIVABLE. ways.

Because Saul had a change of heart. wanna hear the story? Check out Acts chapter 9, i believe.

Secondly, after Saul’s (later Paul) change of heart toward Jesus, his whole way of life changed. So much so that he penned the words:

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Phil 1:21

To live is Christ. 

To die is gain.

That’s a great motto, no?

But I’ve switched it around in my life sometimes.

I act like to live is gain and to die is Christ.

I keep gaining, gaining, gaining, friends, acceptance, wealth. Whatever i’m doing, i’m gathering. and then, when I die, I’ll have Christ. I’ll be with Christ, I’ll worship Christ.

BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT THE BIBLE SAID!!!

The Bible said:

To live is CHRIST.

My actions, my thoughts, my goals and desires, my everything is Christ. 

to die is GAIN.

When I die, I’ll gain the inheritance of the saints. I’ll gain a perfect body. I’ll gain the joy of being in the very presence of the Holy God.

To live is Christ and to die is gain.

I believe something like this was said: “Paul was saying ‘if you let me live tomorrow, you’ll get more Jesus. If you kill me tomorrow, I’ll get more Jesus.”

Paul’s life was Christ. 

so i’m asking myself.

Is Bethany’s life Christ? What needs to change so that my life IS Christ?

“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.”

Symphony- Chris Tomlin

Betkany

Passion; just the beginning

I thought to make one big Passion post, but I tried to write it and realized there’s just too much to write about. So I’ll take it in pieces. Sometimes I may post more than one part per day, but I don’t know that I’ll spam my FB friends with the links, so if you really wanna hear it, you may have to go looking for it :P

First, for all those wondering, Passion is a conference, but it’s also movement. It’s not an activity that Christian twenty-somethings check off their lists, it’s not an event that speakers and worship leaders use to get their teaching and service points racked up, all in one weekend. It’s just about being God’s, and understanding more of Him. 

This year specifically, it was more of why and how we can live completely and only for Jesus.

Our Speakers were Louie Giglio, Francis Chan and John Piper. We were led into worship by singing with Chris Tomlin, Christy Nockels, Kristian Stanfill, Charlie Hall and others. These are some of the most powerful and impacting ambassadors of Christ in our generation, in case you didn’t already know. :)

We sang several worship songs multiple times over the weekend, and every time, the messages that had proceeded them and the change that took place inside of my heart, added a whole new depth to the song i was lifting up.

I’ll post some of them at the bottom of blogposts occasionally.

So here’s the intro post...

Wow. Passion. Wow. It’s kind of scary writing my heart-thoughts out, to be posted for the world to see, because what I’ve realized this weekend is pretty basic, but radical, and I’m going to ask to be held accountable to what I’m saying. I absolutely don’t expect to be perfect at these things right off, and probably never, so please don’t beat me when i stumble, but I am aware of some things that need to change, for the glory of the name of Jesus Christ. 

A lot of things cannot be described, because there are no human words fitting for the joy, peace, and overwhelming love that I felt, and KNEW I have in Christ.

As funny as this sounds, this weekend was all about us realizing it’s not all about us.

And now you’re like, “Oh, Bethany, how very elementary. I KNOW it’s not about us. It’s about Jesus, and the Bible, and serving others, treating them better than yourself, la dadadada.... Didn’t you know that?”

And my answer: of COURSE I KNEW THAT!! and I know you know that too.

But do you know, know that? 

Do I know, know that? Does what I do project that fact to the whole world? 

Does my life scream, “I’M ALL ABOUT JESUS, THE ONE WHO LOVES IN SUCH A CRAZY WAY, THAT HE HUMBLED HIMSELF INTO THE FORM OF A HUMAN BEING, AND GAVE HIS LIFE SO I COULD BE FREE. I BELIEVE THIS, AND HE’S THE BOTTOM LEVEL OF EVERYTHING I BUILD MY LIFE ON. THERE’S NOTHING BENEATH HIM. AND IF I LIVE ANOTHER DAY, BE ASSURED YOU’LL HEAR MORE ABOUT JESUS. BUT IF I DIE, THEN I WILL GAIN CHRIST IN MY OWN SIGHT.”

Well, through Christ, I’m moving in that direction. (here’s one of the things you’re gonna be allowed to hold me accountable for.)

That right there is Giglio, Chan, Piper and the Apostle Paul in a mixed up, mashed up, much less powerful paraphrase. I’m sorry. but you’d have to be there and hear God speaking through them to really be astounded. I’m just not them. Or, better yet, I’ve purchased the access pack, so I’ll be getting the messages on my computer shortly. So you can come over to my house, we’ll pop some popcorn, make a smoothie and gather around the screen to watch it together. And then we can talk about it.

‘Cause as my family leader said (I’ll get into what the “family” is all about in a sec), if we just took in all this meat and didn’t digest it, it would rot. 

So. Family leader. if there’s a leader there’s gotta be a group to go with it, right? and there was. We had nine girls in our “family”, out of 2000 people in our “Community Group”. There were nine community groups all over the campus. Ours was the largest Community group, and our leaders and helpers and prayer warriors were from Breakaway Ministries at A&M campus.

Our families were randomly created, by a “go introduce yourself to a new person” game. I had never met any of the girls in my group, ever. And yet, i feel like I know them so well, because we spent so much time sharing, and encouraging, and opening up our lives to each other. 

We met four times over the weekend, and just got to share our hearts, and what God was speaking to us, asking us to change or do throughout the day.

I seriously believe God put me in the best family group at the whole conference. And I’m so thankful. 

So, Worship, Teaching, Family...

Well, that’s basically the gist of the weekend. I’ll go into specific things God revealed to me in the posts to come. but for now, just read a little of what we meditated on:

Phil 2:1-18

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy,  complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.  Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

 Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

 Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. Likewise you also should be glad and rejoice with me.

Waiting Here For You- Christy Nockels

Forever Reign- Kristian Stanfill

~Betkany