Friday, April 8, 2011

Do I make sense?

At Passion 2011 Ft. Worth,
Francis Chan left me asking myself, “Why do I care about anything else [other than God]?”. He challenged us to not love the idea that there’s a God, just go ahead and love God! 
In the same way that I want to love God and not merely the idea of a God, I want to be changed, not just show a change.
getting real here: to a lot of people, I look pretty good, really good even. I’m a good person, and there’s no mistaking it. But in some aspects of my life, I find it hard to keep up that image of a good person. I know all the right things, and pull them out at the right times, but my heart isn’t in it. I’m showing a change that isn’t real inside. It’s not a true portrayal of Christ in me, it’s just a facade. And I don’t like that. Actually, I HATE that. And I've tried to change, but sometimes I just can’t figure out how.

I figured it out when...
Francis asked, “does your life as a Christian make sense?”
Philippians 1:27 tells us to let the way we live our lives worthy of the gospel of Christ.
He pointed out that lots of us have an “If I were God” opinion... like, “If I were God, I wouldn’t make people like her. I’d put myself in charge of this situation if I were God. If I were God, I’d (insert your personal wish here)”. 
My mind says: what we’re saying when we do that is, “If God were smart like me...” =O
oh my. I don’t think that’s what I'm wanting to say. because after all, he does hold my very next breath in his power.
And even if we’re okay with having the gross misconception that we’re smarter than God, it doesn’t change the fact that the only opinion that matters is still God’s. The opinion found in His Gospel. We should be living in a way that honors what His Word says.
God loves me SO much, that He watched His sinless Son, beaten and cursed, forced toward the cross, to take the payment for my sin.
That is IN CRED IBLE. My life should be different than your average “smarter than God”  believing human being who puts up a facade to appear good.. because I believe that.
I certainly wouldn’t have been smart enough to save the whole world, if I had the chance. I’d just be looking out for number one. me, myself and I. Or me and my closest friends. Or all the good people. But certainly not the people who've hurt me. or the prostitutes. or the thieves. or the murderers. or those people who hadn’t done anything socially unacceptable, but I just didn’t like them anyway. 
And if you had the chance, I’m not gonna assume that you’d save me. We’re just selfish like that.

Realizing all this, what else can i do besides actively pursuing change in my life to make me suitable to the gospel of the One who paid my eternal debt?
When people see my actions, hear me speak, or *glug* watch the hidden cameras into my private family life, they should be saying, “She’s a believer of the gospel of Christ? I can totally see it. That makes sense!”
So I’ve been asking myself since Saturday, “Is my life about the Bible?” Where does my choice of lifestyle come from? Where do I get my sense of justice and injustice? My idea of friendship? My sense of “my rights”? My sense of humility, kindness? Amidst the temptations and pleasures of this world, am I radically different? 
Does my life match up with the Scriptures?
Do I make sense, in light of the Gospel of Christ?

I've got to know the Word, and I've got to CHANGE to match the Word, if I'm going to live a life that truly makes sense.
Praying that every day, I make more and more sense,

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